Fashion & Beauty

I love that our kids love picking out their own clothes.  It's cool to watch their individual preference and sense of fashion develop, I totally encourage them forging their own identities.

Finn typically wants to be Batman, in some way or another.  Whether it's wearing a superhero T-shirt, a cape, or sporting his Batman underoos.  If you run into us at the grocery store, chances are that he's sitting in the grocery cart wearing a cape.  But if he's not Batman, he's a jeans and stripey shirt kind of kid.  He just loves horizontal stripes, especially blue ones.

Zoey likes to mix and match patterns.  I'll be honest, it took months (at least) of cringing on the inside when she chose things that didn't remotely go to together (in my vision anyway).  But more important than my opinion is her own concept of beauty and enjoyment with how she presents herself.  She would carefully go through her pants and shirts, considering each one, comparing them and deliberating.  Inevitably she would choose something like blue and pink polka dot pants with a bright green and yellow flowered shirt.  She would hold the outfit up proudly with a huge smile on her face and say, "I want to wear this one!".  In my mind I would immediately think "Holy clashing fashion disaster!!".  But looking at the triumphant smile on her face, there's no way that my concept of beauty was more important than her own independent self-expression that she was so proud of.  So we would get her dressed and she would say "What do you think, Mama?" and without hesitation I would say "Absolutely beautiful!".  

I think about how so many parents restrict their children in this way and it makes me sad.  If I didn't allow her to make her own choices I can picture how her face would fall in disappointment.  And I wonder what kind of self-doubt that might lead to.  I wonder if she would walk around with her head held as high as it is now, proud of herself and so comfortable in her own skin.

This morning for school she chose black and pink stripey pants, a grey and pink polka dot dress, white and purple shoes, necklaces, several bracelets, and 2 big rings.  Overall a more coordinated ensemble than she sometimes picks.  She does have grey lace-bottom leggings that "go with" this dress, as well as a pair of cute coordinating pink ballet flats.  I could have suggested she wear those with the dress instead.  But that's not her.  This is her, this combination is what makes her feel good.  So when she asked me "What do you think, Mama?", without hesitation I said "Absolutely beautiful".