Rage Against the Machine

But in this instance, the machine being technology.

Christmas has come and gone and everywhere I look I see people immersed in their new fancy gadgets.  Just at the grocery store today I saw several kids Zoey's age all playing with iTouch/Pad/Phone/SomethingorOther.

I use my laptop and smart phone too, but I have a confession to make.  Although I'm an easy-going person, I frequently have a raging compulsion to take peoples' techie gadgets and smash them into itty bitty pieces.  Every time I see a family at a restaurant who are ALL staring into their phones instead of conversing with each other, I want to drown said phones in the soup that they are absentmindedly sipping on.  Every time I see kids who know all about how to play Angry Birds but are utterly clueless how to creatively play with dirt and tinker toys, I want to start dishing out swirlies and atomic wedgies.  It's a pet peeve to see other drivers at a red light who can't bear to just sit there for 2 minutes waiting for it to turn green and instead MUST check Facebook or do something else mundane on their phone.  Really, you needed to read someone's status update at a red light?  It was that pertinent to find out at THAT moment that so-and-so ate burritos for lunch?  Chances are if you've been out with me or at my house and found yourself lost in your smartphone instead of enjoying the company of friends, I have entertained the option of pelting you repeatedly to give you a permanent Otter Box indent in your forehead.  It's amazing the amount of people who can't bear to be more than arms reach of their phone or laptop at all times.

PEOPLE, PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE AND LOOK AT THE WORLD AROUND YOU!!!!

This past summer after dumping cable, I seriously considered getting rid of our smart phones just out of spite.  But I can't deny their convenience and I really do like using them.  Judiciously.  I typically get all my internet stuff done (like updating this blog) after the kids are in bed.  I love my Words With Friends games, but I don't play when I'm with the kids.  When I'm spending time with Zoey and Finn (or Marty, or friends, or anyone else that I've chosen to share the same space with), I'm PRESENT.  Not just physically.  I'm engaged with them on all levels.  My phone barely comes out when I'm with our kids.  I answer calls and reply to texts as needed, that's it.  Phones aren't allowed at our dinner table.  Our kids will not grow up to think it's normal to have a parent whose face is constantly buried in a phone or computer.

I realize this makes me an incredibly old-fashioned fuddy-duddy.  Keep in mind I'm the same oddball who many times has entertained bidding sayonara to civilization and moving to a remote cabin in the mountains with the only means of access being via horseback.  (Marty always manages to talk me out of that one).  All these tech gadgets are the wave of the future, so every one tells me in between scoffing at me for having ZERO interest in Kindles/Nooks/e-readers.  But our kids aren't going to get any of those objects any time soon.   They don't need an app to teach them how to recognize animals.  That's why they have family and books (you know, those cardboard things with papers glued in the middle).  That's why we take trips to the zoo and learn hands-on.  I know, I know - I really do know a ton of GREAT parents who rave about these apps.  My kids might be the only ones in their class without an i-SmartyTouchBrain, but that's ok.  I think they'll manage.  I realize in this day and age, it classifies me as weird that I nix electronics in favor of playing in the giant mountain of dirt in my backyard.  It would probably make it easier if I let Zoey have a video game to play while waiting for appointments instead of lugging along a bag full of puzzles and books.  You should have seen the look on the receptionist's face the one time that we brought a giant bag of dandelions and weeds into the pediatrician's waiting room to use as entertainment/diversion while waiting.  I'm sure it's deemed suspicious behavior that I'd rather dump a huge sack of rice on my hardwood floors and let the kids drive toy trucks through it than let them zone out on Angry Birds.  Believe me, sometimes when I'm picking rice out of the heating vents I question my sanity.

That's ok, it's not the first time and it definitely won't be the last that I embrace the weird and questionable.