Coming out of the Closet

Or pantry as the case may be.

I have a confession to make.  I totally love couponing.  I am officially a middle-aged mom.

I swear, I never thought this would be something I'd get into (or remotely have the time for) but it's surprisingly useful and entertaining.  It's like being on a gameshow!  Because you don't just simply use coupons randomly, there's all kinds of strategy involved.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I love all things game show.  If I could have my own personal Bob Barker that would be amazing.  In couponing, with a lot of strategy and a little luck, I get to unlock door #2 and win a pile of awesomeness.  When I come out of the store with a bag of free or almost-free stuff I'm like "Yay, a prize for me!" and I do my little Dance of Capital Gain Joy.  I realize that getting excited about a prize of dish soap is incredibly mundane (and oh how times have changed... 10 years ago I'd be most excited about free shots at the bar) but I don't care, it's my prize so don't judge.

Not to mention having the extra savings is awesome.  Before I started this our average monthly grocery bill for a family of four was about $800.  Now that I've started scheming and shopping smart we've easily cut that in half, if not more.  So having an extra $400 - $500 more per month in expendable income is nice.

Today I went shopping and I got $150 worth of stuff and only paid $38:

4 boxes of Cheerios, 4 containers of yogurt, 5 jars of grape jelly, 10 bottles of barbecue sauce, 2 scissors, 2 boxes of mac & cheese, 1 razor, 5 deodorants, 10 Teddy Grahams snack boxes, 3 laundry detergents, 5 boxes of cat food, and 3 containers of Clorox Wipes all for $38 is pretty cool.

And yes I have seen that Extreme Couponing show and no I don't try to do that.  Those people are crazy.  I don't know how they get 86 bottles of mustard for 47 cents but that's nonsense.  Who even needs 86 bottles of mustard?   The next step for some of those people is to go on Hoarders.  The only way I'd buy that much of something is if I planned to use the mustard as ammo for our water guns to shoot the cats with when they annoy me at 4am.

I do organize my coupons in a geeky binder though:

And I do buy a lot at once (10 bottles of barbecue sauce is getting a little close to Crazy Town but you should see how Marty slathers the stuff all over the place).  The goal is to stock up when it's mad cheap so you don't ever have to buy it at full price (or even pay for it at all), but we don't buy anything we don't need or won't use well in advance of the expiration date.  I have a year's supply of deodorant, mouthwash, and shaving stuff and it was all completely free.  Plus we just go through stuff fast.  People laughed when I bought 12 boxes of Cheerios, but Marty blazed through that in less than 2 months.  And apparently Finn is developing the same appetite and metabolism.  I have a feeling that the two of them together will be the juggernauts of eating.

It does take time to organize and strategize.  Some weeks I don't even think about it because I'm just too busy working and toddler-wrangling.  And there's all kinds of things I can't often use coupons for like fresh fruit & vegetables and specific brands of things I'm particular about.   But then there are weeks like this one where I make out really well.  I swear though I won't go crazy (any more than I already am) or end up on Hoarders.  If I ever come home with 86 bottles of mustard you have my full permission to squirt me in the face with it.